While waiting for disaster to happen at the Pinoy Big Brother house (or is it houses?) the other night, mom pulled out a dusty old shoe box from the cupboard in the kitchen. It was apparently filled with beautiful heirloom trimmings for the Christmas tree she traditionally sets up ever since setting foot in the kingdom. My face immediately lit up like a firecracker upon seeing all of it. It was overwhelming. Awed. Really awed. Realizing I went to Christmas tree decor heaven for a second or two, I giddily volunteered to dress up the bare tree lying in the corner of the living room.
After what I thought was a splendid job, mom looked at it and suddenly she was all teary eyed. I asked her if I did a horrible job designing the tree, but she painfully looked at me and said in Filipino, "Because you're going to spend the holidays alone." Then she wept like there's no tomorrow as she turned away to get additional holiday decors.
It suddenly occurred to me that my dad has been planning his vacation to the Philippines (for the first time in two years) at the end of November and, of course, he'll tag mom along. I have totally forgotten all about it! They'll be gone for more than a 35 days, I believe, and those numbers sent a reeling feeling in my stomach. It's freaky thinking that I'll be spending the most important days of the year alone in a country which does not participate in the Yuletide season (spiritually, at least). Freaky doesn't even match what I'm feeling right now.
I continued to prettify the living room with mom's Christmas-y home furnishings such as poinsettia printed table runners, the newly sewed curtains, and snowflake-print throw pillow covers while the eternal optimist in me internally nagged that their vacation will bring about pleasant things for everyone in the family. For one, I'll know how my dad felt during the Christmases he missed spending with us because he's working to earn a living. Two, my siblings would get to spend time with our parents after a two-year hiatus of not seeing them, particularly my dad. And three, my dad will finally get a much-deserved vacation and enjoy the feeling Christmas brings once again.
If only I'm not in a limbo right now, I'd fill-up the vacation form that I secretly stashed in my bag in a jiffy.
Thursday, October 15
